When Less Is More: Choosing a Simpler Lifestyle

BOUNDARIES

How do we set boundaries?

Boundaries are my best friend. I tell people on a semi-regular basis that boundaries are vital if you want to guard your peace. Think of boundaries as riverbanks that shape the river of your life. Without banks, the river cannot flow naturally. The water becomes shallow, spreads itself thin, and loses its direction. But with strong banks, the river flows with strength and purpose. 

My whole world turns upside down when my peace is disturbed. So I work endlessly to protect it, avoid control-freak tendencies, and remain grounded in faith. In fact, I live with God’s Truth in mind that says, “all things work together for good to them that love God,” and “He gives peace to those whose hearts are steadfast in Him, because they love Him.” With Him at the helm, I am sure to weather the rapids of life. The Bible also reminds us to guard our hearts above all else because it is the wellspring of life. When grounded in His Word, my banks are being formed. They shape me, my decisions, and my plans. I plan my way, but I trust that the Lord guides my steps. 

Boundaries come in many forms. You can set them around relationships, activities, busy schedules, your physical health, and even your mental and emotional states. There are times that I choose not to answer a phone call until I have my mind and heart prepared for a conversation, either due to the person or the topic of conversation. It’s on my terms that I decide who and when I talk to. This is a simple adjustment, reminding me that I decided when and how to engage. It is preparing me to respond rather than react. 

Is it okay to say ‘no’?

With so many exciting opportunities and wonderful people, saying “no” is menacing. “No” sounds like rejection. It feels like missing out. I’ve learned that “no” is actually a gift. 

With each passing year, I am growing in the Lord and continuing to discover my gifts, talents, likes, and dislikes. I still LOVE volleyball and look for opportunities to either coach, instruct, or play whenever I can. I homeschool our four children. We attend a wonderful co-op where I teach Lifetime Sport and Jr. High Grammar. We are an “ate-up with-sports” family that keeps the road hot, going to practices and games, most of which require us to drive over an hour to participate. I literally drove 2.5 hours to play 37 minutes of a volleyball game, and I’d do it again because I got to play alongside my oldest daughter and some former players.

That “yes” made sense for this season. Joy, connection, and physical exercise were gained. In the same breath, I have had to say “no” to things I love, like teaching Grammar. I love interacting with the kids and the challenge of preparing lessons. But it’s not the season. Saying “no” now is not saying “no” forever.

Recently, I tore my Achilles tendon. Yes, I was playing volleyball. Volleyball is now a definite “no”. Seasons shift. Sometimes they shift slowly. Or, like my current situation, instantaneously. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for everything and that every season has a beauty all its own. Even when the river bends in a direction that I deem less than ideal, I can choose to see the beauty. My new boundaries look like rest versus constant activity. 

What takes priority?

How do we decide what takes priority in our daily lives? Our family identified a priority hierarchy to guide us. Faith (God) first, Family (Spouse, then kids, and extended family), Finances, Friendships, and Fun. God is a God of order, not chaos. Built upon Him, you have a firm foundation. Without Him, life gets shaky, unstable.

Next comes family. Listing my husband before children was intentional. I’m entering a season where my first child will soon leave home, which comes with flooded emotions. We are close, tied through the bonds of childbirth, rearing, shaping, and now friendship. In this transitional season, I’m reminded how essential my relationship with my husband, Beau, is. Without our strong bond, this season could feel overwhelming.  Instead, it’s becoming something beautiful. 

Then comes finances. For over 20 years, my husband has faithfully provided for our family. We’ve had some really great years and some that we won’t mention, except that God was faithful as promised! He prioritized our needs, and I am forever grateful for his security. 

Good friendships are hard to come by, rare, and valuable. Many times I have prayed and asked the Lord to bring someone…just one…one good friend into my life. He always answered that prayer. He values relationships. That’s who HE IS and core to the gospel message. He desires a relationship with YOU and designed us to crave relationships with others.

And finally, we prioritize fun! Fun isn’t frivolous; it’s essential in life. Activating fun in yourself, family, or other relationships springboards new, fresh perspective in life. Life gets heavy. Sometimes you just need a good belly laugh. Scripture tells us laughter is good medicine! I remember Grandma telling us she was going to make Grandpa sit on the floor across from her so they could stare into each other’s eyes and laugh…like really laugh. She knew the power and joy this moment could embody, bring a new perspective, and be medicine to the soul. How cute is that, might I add!

Establishing boundaries, learning the art of saying “no”, and prioritizing your life, work hand-in-hand. Boundaries protect your peace, clarify your season, and align your life. When things are in their proper place, your life doesn’t just function. It flows as a river of peace and looks like resting in His presence and plans.