When Less is More: Choosing a Simpler Lifestyle – Part 1: Determine Your Goals

I read a funny story about a couple—we’ll call them Brad and Mary—who made a resolution to become fit but they could never find the time or the willpower to work out. After several inquiries from friends and family as to their new resolution and a few awkward answers, they finally came up with a clever solution. Instead of calling their bathroom “the John,” their renamed it “the Jim.” Now, they can confidently say they “went to the Jim” every day, achieving their fitness goal without ever leaving the house.

I think many of us make the same mistake as Brad and Mary. We set objectives (or make New Year’s resolutions) that feel like obligations rather than a source of pleasure. Our goals become burdens. Our choices turn into manacles that prevent us from living a joyful, fulfilling life.

Embarking on a journey toward a simpler lifestyle begins with clarifying your personal goals. For my husband and me, taking time to define the outcome we wanted was essential. We needed to understand what we were working toward, both in the short term and long term, and to be clear about our reasons for pursuing simplicity.

For some of us, our goal is straightforward decluttering – we own so much stuff that we find it hard to relax and enjoy our living spaces. If your closets are packed tighter than commuters on the subway at rush hour, your cupboards and drawers are as stuffed as Uncle Bill after the Thanksgiving meal, and your counters and desktops are buried beneath piles of prodigal papers, homeless hardware, and teetering towers of mail, it’s safe to say you are dealing with clutter.

For others, it might be a stressful job/career. Just yesterday, I ran into a friend. For years, she worked in the public school system as a special education teacher. She had a huge impact on many families, especially ours. But she’d reached a point in her life where her goals no longer brought her joy. The lengthy commute, the long days, the piles of paperwork at the end of each day, had worn her down. When she eventually retired from that job, she took a position with a retail giant, filling customer orders. A step down? Some might see it that way. But for her, at this stage in her life, it was a step in the right direction. Because she no longer lives with the daily stress that was seeping her joy. When I saw her yesterday, she had the biggest grin on her face. I think it’s one of the few times, in over a dozen years, that I’ve seen her so happy.

Perhaps it’s overloaded schedules and commitments. There was a time when I worked in the Emergency Department in a large hospital. I loved the fast pace and adrenaline rush. Now that I am in my sixties, I find my stress meter has plummeted to a record low. As a result, I’ve learned to slow down. I’ve discovered that it’s okay to say ‘no’ and no longer commit out of guilt or a sense of responsibility. Good mental health is more important to me than pleasing others out of a sense of obligation. I no longer apologize for who I am (or the way others perceive me) and for the decisions I make because I have chosen to embrace a quieter lifestyle.

Perhaps it’s your relationships, your finances, or your health. Ask yourself:

• Who am I? What matters most to me?
• Who do I want to become?
• Where do I want to be in a year, in five years, in ten years?
• What needs to change in order for me to live a healthier lifestyle?

Determine your goals accordingly.

Join me next Wednesday as we delve into part 2 of “When Less is More: Choosing a Simpler Lifestyle” – Part 2: “Curate your life: keep the joy, release the rest.”

Please feel free to add to the conversation in comments. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.