Words that tell rather than show, part A
- Filter Words
Filter words tell the reader what a character is thinking, feeling, or perceiving:
- See (He saw a bird fly by – A goose flew past)
- Know (She knew he was mad – He slammed the door on his way out)
- Smell (She smelled the smoke – An acrid smell filled the air)
- Watch (I watched the sun rise – A streak of brilliant crimson appeared on the eastern horizon, promising another beautiful day)
- Feel (He felt tired – His eyes drooped)
- Notice (He noticed the burn on her hand – A red welt showed up on the palm of her hand)
- Wonder (I wonder about her wellbeing – Her wellbeing concerns me).
- Hear (They heard a scream – A scream broke the silence)
- Realize (I realize I was too harsh – My words hurt her)
- Linking Verbs
Linking verbs usually connect with an adjective. Linking verbs are static, not active nor passive. Replace linking verbs with stronger verbs
- All forms of ‘to be’ especially in combination with a verb ending in ‘ing’(They were bored – They twiddled their thumbs)
- All forms of ‘to have’(She had a headache – She rubbed her forehead hoping to relieve the throbbing in her temples).
- All forms of ‘to do’(He did a good job – His hard work paid off)
- Will, would, should, shall, could (He couldn’t forget – The images played over and over in his mind)
- Looked, appeared, seemed (She looked older – Crow’s feet now webbed the corners of her eyes
- Useless Adverbs
Adverbs typically tell rather than show and bog down sentences. When editing, look for adverbs ending in ‘ly.’ If the sentence is clear without the adverb, delete it. If the sentence is unclear, replace verb and adverb with a stronger verb.
- E.g.: She ran quickly down the hall versus She dashed down the hall