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THE WEARY

Guest post by Author Julia Kay

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Over the past couple of weeks, mishaps and failures have been plentiful, humbling, and reminding me of God’s grace yet again.

You see, I strive for perfection with lists and logic—logic that can’t fully grasp the idea that God loves unconditionally. Whether or not I had a pleasant week. Whether I nailed it with my family or bumbled my way through each conversation. Whether I felt full of love and peace, or poorly reflected my Christian beliefs.

And I know I can’t earn His grace or love. I know. But I want to. I want to prove that I’m worthy of the price He paid for me. Yet, I know I’m not. I never will be.

I’m wrecked by this.

So, I keep striving. Oh, I can deny it if I want to, but if I’m NOT striving to earn grace, then what am I doing? If I’m NOT chasing after some gold medal or reward for being “good,” then why do I feel so burdened, so weary? Why am I so tired by the end of the day? Why is the load of the week so heavy when the Lord’s yoke is supposed to be light? Why does Matthew 11:28-30 say, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light,” but I have such a hard time finding rest.

Therein lies the revelation.

I’m upheaved and disjointed because I know how deep the pit of me really is, how dark and scary the valleys of this world can become, how easy it is to get lost in this very confusing Martha world; a Martha world where sometimes, before I realize it, I can become so fixated on earning the merits and accomplishing success that I forget how spiritually bankrupt we all are without the yoke of Christ. (Salvation/His gift of grace)

I’m weary because I’m relying on my strength and ability instead of His sovereignty. If it weren’t so, I wouldn’t be weary.

But without the striving, I feel bare—exposed—lacking. What if I don’t like what He does with my burdens? Yet, what I keep wears me out. Every. Time.

So, today, yet again, I open my tight-fisted hands and release what’s there. And as I lay it down at His feet, I whisper, “Your will, not mine.”

Will you open your hands? Will you bring last week’s baggage and drama and lay it all at His feet? Will you release the outcomes, dreams, and desires?

I pray you will.

Let’s welcome Him to come and cut off the branches of self-reliance and self-preservation, so we can find rest at His feet.

Julia Kay holds a bachelor’s degree in English from Southwest Baptist University and MFA from Lindenwood University. She lives in Missouri with her husband and has four children. She is a columnist and blogger, but also wields her pen to write fiction that explores the human condition and the extraordinary love of God.

Contact information includes:

Website: www.juliakayauthor.com

Email: info@juliakayauthor.com

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