Which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it – lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?
Luke 14:28-30
We’ve all felt it, right? The stress of juggling too many balls and watching a few of them fall to the ground. I’ve been there – thought I could be wife, mother, friend, instructor, writer, editor, and coach, all at the same time. I was wrong.
If you’re like me, you have a hard time saying “No.” Yet there is more to accepting one more responsibility. There are others to consider, family members who have to deal with us when we start stressing out.
Lysa Terkeurst remarks, “I’ve learned to pay attention to my emotional capacity and be honest with myself when I’m stretched too thin. When I allow myself to get overloaded emotionally, the worst version of me emerges. And that’s not good for anyone.” (1)
That’s where wisdom and discernment come into play. Not every responsibility is mine to shoulder. In fact, I’ve discovered that those times I’ve said no opened the door for someone else to step up.
The next time you are asked to assume another responsibility, count the cost. Take a deep breath and tell that person you need to reflect and pray about it. Take time to assess your current load and evaluate how another responsibility could impact you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Here are a few questions to consider:
- What is my motivation in accepting or declining the offer?
- Does the idea of taking on this responsibility engender a sense of peace and excitement or a feeling of unrest?
- Does it align with my God-given gifts or would someone else be more suitable? Just because I can tinker around on the piano at home doesn’t mean I can do a good job leading the worship team.
- Do I truly believe God is in this, that He has called me for such a purpose?
Discuss it with your spouse or a godly friend, Ask them to pray with you for clarity. Pray for wisdom and discernment. “I choose to” and “I have to” are not the same.
(1) Lysa Terkeurst, Embraced: 100 Devotions to Know God is Holding You Close