Guest post by Author Cassie Downs
My blood pressure was through the roof. Red-faced, steam rolling out of my ears, shouts protruded from my mouth. The woman on the other end of the line couldn’t see my fury (nor would she ever see my Jesus), but I guarantee you she could hear my fury very clearly. Everyone in a five-mile radius of my house could hear me yelling at her, including my children. I know. I know. It’s doubtful I’ll receive a Mom Of The Year award after that hissy fit.
I wish I could tell you what the debate was about, but I don’t even recall. Something to do with a canceled flight I think and super petty, I’m sure. And I’m ashamed to admit that this wasn’t the first time I had lost my cool with a stranger over the phone or in person.
Confession time.
Let me pull up my seat. It’s time to spill the beans, or is it tea? Where I’m from, it’s beans, but I’ve heard it said both ways.
Go ahead. Gather your friends, pull up a chair, and allow me to share my embarrassing issues with you.
This isn’t a new thing, losing my cool and acting crazy, it’s a persistent battle of mine. I blame my parents. It seems like an obvious out for me. My dad is short-fused, and my mom is what we like to call sassy. Those two created me, crazy, sassy Cassie – what a combination. Some days I can hardly handle myself. I still wonder if Dustin, my husband, genuinely understood what he was getting himself into when he asked me out some twenty-two years ago. He must have because it looks like he’s in it for the long haul.
Where was I? Oh yes, my confession.
Years ago, when I was a baby Christian, my step-mom and I were doing a little shopping at a local store. I’d purchased something there a couple of weeks prior and needed to return the item. It’s been a hundred years ago, so the details are vague, but what I remember is that it didn’t go my way, and I ended up shouting at the cashier as she asked me to leave the store and NEVER return. I prayed I’d never see her at church. How awkward would that be?
My face is so far buried in my hands right now, I may never look up again. Sharing the hardest and coldest parts of me is not a simple task. But I share this with you because surely I’m not the only human who has struggled to reflect Jesus. To respond like Jesus and love like Jesus. So stay with me. Let me show you how Jesus has changed my heart and how He can change yours too.
A few years ago, I wrote a book, Chasing Jesus. Maybe you’ve heard of it. The entire purpose of that book was to encourage believers to Chase Jesus with their whole hearts. To follow Him sacrificially (Luke 9:23). I believe choosing to chase Jesus is essential in our faith to walk. We can’t live for Jesus and continue to chase the world. But interesting enough, it’s possible to follow Jesus and still lose our minds on the store manager, or over the phone with the airline service department. Now, this is not me giving you permission to do this. I’m saying this because as important as chasing Jesus is, giving yourself sacrificially to Him, replacing our desires with His, and chasing Jesus isn’t enough to change us. But catching Jesus is.
In the book of Mark, we find another woman with issues. Her issues are a little more severe than my little toddler fits. This poor soul suffered from bleeding for twelve years. Ladies, imagine for a moment that Aunt Flow comes to visit, and she stays for twelve years. Oh. My. Lanta. How miserable this woman must have been, how embarrassed she must have felt every time she walked through the street and warned others of her uncleanliness. How alone she must’ve been.
According to scripture she had tried everything, spent all she had to find a cure to no avail. She tried it on her own and left worse than before, broken and bloody.
This is me far too often: trying to be good enough, trying to love others, and following Jesus in my strength. But I usually end up blowing it and blowing up. I am not enough, and my sister, with her blood issue, wasn’t either. But she heard about a man who was.
Now a woman suffering from bleeding for twelve years had endured much under many doctors. She had spent everything she had and was not helped at all. On the contrary, she became worse. Having heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his clothing. For she said, “If I just touch his clothes, I’ll be made well.” Instantly her flow of blood ceased, and she sensed in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Immediately Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes? ” — Mark 5:25-30 (CSB)
“If I just TOUCH His clothes,” she thought. It started with her pursuit of this man she’d heard about doing miraculous things, but it ended with her grabbing ahold of Him. Haptomai, the Greek word for touch, means to fasten one’s self to, adhere to, or cling to.
This woman in scripture didn’t just touch Jesus, she grabbed ahold of Him. And when she did, power went out from Him and the woman’s issue was no longer an issue. It wasn’t her pursuit of Jesus that made her whole. That fixed her issues. It was when she caught Him. When she grabbed hold of Him and experienced His power, His compassion, and His grace. That’s what changes us. That’s what causes me to love and not hate, to show kindness and not anger, to have self-control, to find joy in the chaos, and to find peace in my problems.
Yes! Chase Jesus. Pursue Him and the things of God, but don’t just follow from a distance, striving in your own strength to be and do good. Catch Him. Grab ahold of who He is and watch His power, His grace, and His love wreck your life in the best ways.
Cassie Downs is a lover of Jesus and her family. She is the author of two books, Chasing Jesus and Unrivaled, both 60-day devotionals. Cassie is also the founder of Everyday Jesus Ministry, a homeschool mom, and a furniture flipper. She resides in Stockton, Mo, with her high school sweetheart and husband, Dustin, and their three teenagers.
Instagram @downs.partyof5